MOTO

Ok, so my husband, the most awesome man ever, has decided that before I can no longer eat the food at the places that I love so much, I should have a hell of a send-off.  With that, we took our daughter and went to Moto in Chicago this past weekend.  It was a trifecta of purpose: my birthday, Claire's early birthday, and a farewell to food for a while.  At this point I feel I should add that I am not being melodramatic, but depending on how the surgery goes and what they may have to remove, I may not actually be able to eat in places like this again.

Here is the menu:  It was printed with edible ink on a springroll with crumbled peanuts, pickled veggies, cilantro, fried mushroom slices, tofu and a spicy pineapple sauce.  So you roll up all the ingredients into the wrap and then dip it into the sauce.  It was totally fun.

 This was called Black Out, three pieces of mahi poached in olive oil and from left to right, sitting on top of a puree of forbidden black rice, next is a small portion of Russian black caviar, then fish atop the balsamic gastrique with fried basil on top, another dollup of caviar and finally fish atop a parsnip puree with a black garlic foam on top.  They used squid ink to dye the foods that weren't naturally black but they left the mahi alone so it really stood out.

Here we have Garbage Salad.  It actually tasted just like a deconstructed pizza.  Sauce, basil splattered all over the plate with home made sausage, rolled up prosciutto, two pieces of home made dough, and a packing peanut made of pork skin.  It looks much worse and tastes much better.

This is Nose to Tail.  It's a suckling pig served in different preparations in a circle to represent the nose to tail concept.  Porkbelly with a mango puree, braised ham with a Jerusalem artichoke puree, crispy pig ear, pork tenderloin and a pork rind in the center.  The whole circle on the plate was a mango puree with small bits of freeze-dried pineapple and a pipet in the center of a coconut/pineapple puree with rum.  Excellent.

This was a bread sauce with small carbonated purple grapes.  When you bit into them, it was like drinking a grape soda.  This was probably my favourite flavor profile of all the dishes we had. 

Bird's Nest:  Poached quail's egg on a bed of fried egg noodles and a crispy green onion on the side.

This cracked me up.  They called this KFC Dinner.  They had taken a roasted chicken, freeze dried it, then shaved it into a powder and used the powder to make a pasta that tasted just like roast chicken.  It was amazing.  There was also a small, truffled biscuit, mashed potatoes and gravy on the bottom and a powder of 11 herbs and spices.  In the corkscrew-looking utensil, they had put fresh oregano in it so you could smell the oregano while eating the chicken.  Just nuts.

This was the Cigar Trio: from left to right, Serrano ham and Wisconsin aged white cheddar, then a small Cuban with shredded pork, Swiss and a pickle, finally a Philly cheese steak cigar.  The ends had been dipped in a tomato sauce that made them look lit.  Then they shook a freeze dried mixture of salt and pepper and spices to dip them in that looked like ashes and smoked when it hit the ashtray they served them in.  The cigar has been my favourite thing they have done since they opened.

On A Log: these were all ingredients that were foraged by some crazy and awesome hippy in California named Crazy Squirrel or something like that.  It comprised a mushroom puree spread along the length of an actual branch foraged from the wilds of Chicago and atop that were an assortment of hedgehog mushrooms, acorn mushrooms and various other little mushrooms that were out of this world.  By this time, we began to notice a certain "fullness" encroaching on us.

This was a lovely little bit of wagyu beef with sauteed veg and a cauliflower puree.  Little pork cracklin on top.  The beef speaks for itself and honestly didn't need anything else with it.

Egg Drop Soup: Actually the "egg" was a mango gelee ball encased in a lemongrass pectin that looked like an actual egg.  They poured a foam on top that I think had coconut in it and was simply delicious.  A nice break in the palate from the rich dishes before.

This was really cool.  The top picture is a glass bowl sealed at the bottom with caramel.  There is applewood smoke floating at the top of the bowl and they had sealed it with saran wrap and then poked a small hole in it so we could smell the smoke inside.  At the bottom of the bowl were three little marshmellow cubes with small sprigs of rosemary poking out of the top.  The bottom picture is the accompanying dish that came later with a small quenelle of truffled ice cream, currants, and a powdered cinnamon and nutmeggy kind of thing with small wafers stuck inside.

This was Elvis Circa 1974.  The top thing is a peanut butter ice cream sandwich with an edible picture of Elvis on it.  Underneath is banana slices, fresh jellies and peanuts.  It was totally awesomepants.

A little molten lava chocolate cake with honey inside, powdered yumminess with peanuts, currants and ice cream on the side.  I couldn't even swallow another piece of food at this point, so I took a bite comprised of all components and then passed the plate to Claire.

ACME Bomb.  It was a liquid center of caramel covered in hard chocolate with a marshmellow fuse that they lit at the table.  Once it burned out you popped the whole thing in your mouth.  A signature dessert for them and I loved it.

After we were finished, they allowed us to go downstairs and visit/tour the kitchen.  We met Ricky and Chris from Top Chef (we like that show and were genuinely bummed when they were eliminated), joked about the vagaries of chicken salad sandwiches, and met each and every incredible member of an incredible team.  We got to hear stories, laughed and then took an amazing group picture.  I hugged each and every one of those talented people and was truly grateful to have dinned on the fruits of their imaginations.  I am in awe of their hospitality and their heart, if you ever have the chance, PLEASE GO, you will never forget it. 

Up next:  The French Laundry

Well, crud. Had the PET yesterday, still waiting on the report to come in, hopefully by Friday. Met with both surgeons, they described the procedures quite effectively. Two eight inch incisions, one from the front middle section of my thorax and one along my right side. Surgery is about eight hours and I am confined to quarters in the hospital for about 10 days getting nutrition through a feeding tube in my side.

In the meantime, the oncologist I met with today has outlined the following:
Next Thursday I have a power port implanted - I will put milkshakes in it!
Next Thursday I go in to learn about my chemo treatments
Next Friday, I begin a 9 week bout of chemo therapy, including Epirubicin, Cisplitan and a constant 24 hour dosing of 5-FU that runs into the power port (I have already thought of three jokes about the 5-FU) My hair will fall out in about the next three weeks along with many other unpleasant side effects
After 9 weeks I get scanned again, I get about 6-12 weeks to recover from the chemo and then we schedule the surgery.
After I recovered from that, it will be another 9 weeks of chemo again.

Here is my gameplan:
I will cut my hair next week in the shortest and cutest style ever and maybe even dye the tips a cool color
I will have a head shaving party when the time comes and I will let Claire shave my head

I have come up with the following list of the positive things about chemo:
1. Shorter showers, no conditioner and no blow drying
2. Lower grocery bill due to nausea
3. Energy conservation NOT growing any hair
4. No shaving!
5. Weight loss
6. Knowing where all the best bathrooms are
7. Lots of cool hats
8. Long naps
9. Loads of downtime for hobbies and movie watching
10. Drawing different expressive eyebrows everyday
11. Temporary scalp tattoos
12. Husband won't roll over on my hair at night
13. No tangles
14. Medical marijuana! Well, if I lived in a state where it was legal :D
15. Possibility of Hulk-like abilities

Ok, done for now, brain is fried and I gotta watch something funny to get back in balance.

Love to all~

One sore throat and massive propofol hangover later and we have an update.  The endoscopic ultrasound went rather well, all things considered.  The stricture is too tight for the scope to have gotten all the way down in there without the risk of me being able to pay the flute with my esophagus.  However, what they were able to image gave us a peek into the sordid world of Jeffrey and found that he is performing on stage three.

Yes, stage three.  Now, while better than stage four, and believe me, I am SO damned grateful it isn't stage four, it means that the little turd has made a rather comfy cancer hammock in the wall of the esophagus and is growing into the muscle.  So far, he has not had his sticky fingers in any other part of my body so I am calling that a definite win.  It does mean that I need to book my ticket for the chemo/rad express departing in the foreseeable future - I hope first class is still available.

So, Wednesday, we meet with the A-Team over coffee at Northwestern Memorial, I have a wonderful PET scan to confirm that there is no spread and that the jerk is confined to quarters like they believe he is.  Thursday, we meet the staff for the chemo/rad trip and find out when that starts, how long, how many times a week, etc.  I am not looking forward to how much this will suck.  I really don't want to be tired all the time and honestly, throwing up is at the top of my "Don't Wanna" list.  I will be picking Maggie's beautiful brain to pieces for tips and tricks and whatnot.  Thank goodness I have her.

Thank you to my mom and dad for spending most of their morning/afternoon counting ceiling tiles in the waiting room and being propositioned by volunteers with fig newtons and nutri-grain bars.  I love you both and I was glad to see your faces today.  I am so lucky to have such an amazing support system and I am also shamed sometimes at how much better most people I love are better at this than I am.  But I will learn!

For now, I am going to do a little work, still a little tired from earlier but it keeps my mind occupied and I like that.  Then, veg in front of the flickery box and just enjoy some time with my awesome family.

Love to all ~

After seeing my regular doctor last night, I was afforded what I am taking as good news. When I picked up the report for the CT scan, David and I both looked at it, scratched our heads and then shrugged. So, I took the report with me last night and just dumbly shoved them at the Doc and grunted a few words. He was able to give me a MUCH better description of what was there.

It looks as though, from the scan, so I am taking this all with a grain of salt until we get more firm results from the ultrasound and PET scan, Jeffery has not spread anywhere else inside my chest, thorax or pelvis. Meaning, no other organs appear to be affected. He says Jeffery appears localized to the distal portion of the esophagus - the part right before it goes into the stomach - and the very top portion of the stomach. The only concern there is that the bugger is growing into the wall of the esophagus and isn't clearly differentiated from the surrounding tissue. Meaning that Jeffery is playing hide-and-seek in there. BUT, I will take whatever good news I can squeeze out right now, and I'm hopeful with regard to the next couple tests.

So, sleep came much easier last night and that is the long and the short of that.

On another note, thank you so much to every person with kind words, loving thoughts and just general badassedness. I really appreciate every one of you more than I could ever express here on this page. I am truly a blessed woman to have such incredible family, friends, wonderful insurance and the tightest support staff anyone has ever seen.

Maggie was a lifesaver this week, woman, you are honestly one of the toughest I have ever had the honor to know. Thank you so much for your love, your advice and your experience - you saved me from myself this week. I am buying you more than a few drinks to celebrate when this is all over.

Love to all ~

So, things are starting to pick up a little speed and start going in something that resembles a direction.

1.  Endoscopic Ultrasound scheduled for Monday the 23rd - CHECK
2.  Appointment with Dr. Awesome (a.k.a. Surgeon) in Chicago is scheduled for next Wednesday in Chicago, they will also be performing a PET scan on that day so I can tease Jeffrey with a little sugar and make him squirm.  This will tell us the stage: I, II, III, or IV - CHECK
3.  Appointment with the oncologist scheduled for next Thursday the 26th - CHECK
4.  Seeing my GP this evening so we can both have a good laugh about how every time I come in with some little complaint, we end up in a hospital.  I would take him a fifth of bourbon if I thought he would actually drink it. - CHECK

This is really more of just a general update than anything else.  My pithy muscle is rather flabby today, perhaps tomorrow will see another witty tirade against the little butt-munch.

Well, just found out yesterday that I have an unwelcome visitor.  In the interest of future posts, let us assign a name to this jerkface.  We will call it Jeffrey.  Now, I don't mean to disparage the name Jeffrey, I am sure there are many nice Jefferys out there, but I needed a name and this one will do quite nicely.

There I am, in the gastroenterologists office waiting for the results of the biopsy from the endoscopy.  Needless to say, I am nervous, but pretty much expecting some small and boring explanation for my difficulty swallowing lately.  No such luck.  Doctor walks in, sits down, sighs a bit and looks at me. 

DOC: "I don't think there is anyway to sugar-coat this.  It's Esophageal Cancer"
ME:    ".....right, so what do I do now?"

So, first introduction to Jeffery.  I must say, I think he's rather an ass.

Next steps are a CT scan, which has already been done, and an Endoscopic Ultrasound so I can get a picture of the little shit.  Perhaps I should frame it and use it as a dart board.  Both of these tests will determine what stage the cancer is in.  Until that time, I have no idea exactly what the hell Jeffery has been up to in there.  After that, we will be meeting with the surgeon, a wonderful gentleman at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago who, apparently, has been waging the war against the Jeffereys of the world for quite some time.  Then, there is the oncologist, who is also a hemotologist - I am thinking he will join the Super Friends after we have had our initial meeting with Dr. Awesome in Chicago.

Now, if anyone looks up the details of this cancer on any website, IGNORE THE STATISTICS.  They suck, they really do, but they also apply to people aged 65 years and older who have smoked their whole life and drink heavily every day.  Just believe these statistics: I am 100% confident I will kick this little shit in his ass and be running around just as crazy as ever after he's gone.

So, stay tuned here for updates and random rants, I think this may help me keep my sanity in check.